I'm feeling a little nervous about it to be honest! Its been something like 15 years since I haven't had to goto a fixed job every day...... will the lack of routine throw me? Will I go stir crazy and slightly mad without the familiar monotony? Who knows - but I sure am ready to find out.
I have much to be grateful for, the baby obviously but also that I have built a career that allows me this luxury. That my current employer and I can reach this amicable and workable situation for both of us is terrific. I'm pretty proud to find myself in this solid position at this juncture.
Its just over a week til baby is due to be delivered. My placenta previa means a c-section for sure and its all booked in for Friday the 18th June - how bizarre and conveniently organized to have a fixed date...... a 6:30 am start at the hospital and an 8am operation and then I will meet this little being that I have grown inside me from scratch. Its quite miraculous and I am in awe and wonder of nature for it.
These last couple of weeks there has been a grey cloud over my home environment and a definite spanner in the works which I have found really hard to shake off and has left me very hurt and angry so I feel like I have been a bit broody and moody for this last patch which so wasn't what I wanted for the baby or me. I'm hoping in this next week I can let it go and go back to the excited and warm fuzzy feeling I've had throughout my pregnancy.
Irrespective of what happens there I must try not to let others impact on my wonderful moment.
Love you little one and can't wait to meet you. xxxxxx
