Have I been busy with motherhood? Yes I have!
So I'm not even going to begin to bore you with endless photos and running commentary on every new and fantastic thing I've witnessed and learnt thanks to my bundle of bouncing baby boy joy.
He is quite simply a total dude! A little legend and a marvelous miracle.
Is motherhood as challenging, tiring, stressful and mental as people say - yes!
Is being a parent as amazing, awe inspiring and magical as they say - shit yes!
Every emotion you've ever had, times a thousand, all at once, all the time. Its a fantastic ride.
Much more importantly though its a daily lesson - your heart, mind and soul swell daily with new insight, new understanding, new experience, new lessons, new perspective.
If you think how much a baby learns between birth and 6 months - sometimes it feels like you are learning at that rate too. Especially if like me, you are suddenly drawn to all the literature about child development. READER BEWARE!
I'm sure its good to read about it - just hard to be discerning and remember to TRUST your own instincts.
Thats what leads me to what I really wanted to say, what occurs to me as an absolute necessary ingredient of healthy parenting is being a healthy adult.
Being a healthy adult is hard! To be physically healthy and mentally healthy is hard work.
Being able to trust yourself, know yourself, own your shit, ask for help, have healthy self awareness and a healthy view of yourself as a person is hard but FUNDAMENTAL to being a good parent I think. Having healthy boundaries, not being afraid to make mistakes, owning your mistakes and apologizing for them when necessary - all tough stuff. To be where you're at and feel what you feel fully in the moment with presence of mind and awareness, to be mindful and considered - shish. Mostly to be very much your own best friend...... taxing to say the least.
I owe the most enormous debt of gratitude to my therapist - she has taught me more than I could have imagined, she has held my hand and guided me through some muddy water, she has stood by my side and supported me, watched me make my mistakes and help me get back on track, encouraged me to fulfill my potential and helped me learn to love me every day.
I am a better version of me thanks to the work we have done together.
I am becoming a healthy adult. Everyday I learn something new about being a parent - I most certainly don't always get it right but being open to the learning is the key.
I hope I can guide my child to be a fully realized individual with self esteem, self awareness and self love.
To know that he is loved, nurtured, valued and adored.
I can only hope to teach him all that he has already taught me.
