Danger, Danger, High Voltage!

Sometimes it feel dangerous to be too alive, to feel so alive that your nerves zing and your senses are heightened. Everything feels possible and overexciting and almost too much for your heart to bare. This is where drinking, smoking, meaningless sex and drugs come into play. Wild abandon, giving in, loosing yourself in the moment, no restraint, no control, no containment. Throwing yourself down a slippery slope cause you are unable to express the extent of your heightened and enormous feelings. Like the feelings are too big to fit in your body and need to find a way out. This is where I advocate the artist, we all have one in us, the writer, the poet, the painter, the dancer, the singer, the need to express yourself without talking. This need is great - it certainly is for me anyway. I'm thinking maybe exercise comes into play here too actually...... One day I will have a room - a room I can lock from the inside and no one can see inside. In this room I will dance with wild abandon, I will punch the air and writhe on the floor and kick my legs up. I will sing to my hearts content to the music of my choosing. I will express myself through movement. This process will release me, will release tension, will release the zing in my nerves. One day I will have a partner, I will love him and he will love me and we will make love. We will kiss and fuck and hug and smooch and spoon and this too will release tension and calm the zing in my nerves.