So its off to the land of the free, home of the brave where YES given enough demand there is an inevitable supply, a country based on the basic principles of economics and though there are many amongst you who sneer at its global, super power, steroid ego, I say long live America. Yes there was Bush but now there is Obama so all is forgiven from where I'm sitting, Hollywood, love it, McDonalds don't ever eat it but hell yeah I loved it! The country that brought you Converse and Levis, free love and Neil Young, the moving picture show and Brad Pitt, I say Hell Yeah. Bring IT!
Here, I'm aware that I can buy prized genes, a little extra and your baby's daddy has a doctorate degree. They are vetted and screened. This concept of vetting and screening everyone alludes me still I must admit, when I was young I dated guys who made me laugh and were good at kissing, I'm suddenly crossing people off my list for colour, creed, religion and HPV strains. Why? I'm bringing depression, diabetes and cancer to the fold, I'm quite sure thousands of us have for centuries, its just that now we all know about it. Anyhow I digress, so yes given the option of choosing the perfect sperm here goes.
Blood Tests - you're about to find out everything you didn't want to know about your insides. Ultra sounds. Are my tubes patent? Hysteroctomy's, colposcopy's can I have another speculum please!! After what seems like an interminable amount of time getting my lovely lady bits poked and prodded on a variety of different doctor beds I'm feeling sore and violated and I still haven't even been kissed let alone taken out for dinner.
Needless to say dating, romance and the ever elluding LOURVE I'm longing for is further out of my reach, I feel about as femenin and sexy as a 45 year old overweight builder from Pekham. Even if I was able to use my lady lumps to lure some chap into bed I wouldn’t be able to use the very organs god gave me as they’ve been prodded to death by a variety of doctors and nurses.
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