Sadly its pretty tricky to find one in your mid 30's - especially one that isn't an emotional hooligan who is ready to 'commit’. As a savvy old cabby said to me once, “why would we when today's women are all so ready to put out without us men putting in.” Apparently there's even a term for it now - Adultecentse. If you're 38 and still planted firmly on a bar stool nurturing your beer gut thinking "Hello Ladies, who's up for it tonight" then there's little hope of you being anywhere near adult, you are the new breed of adultescence.
Trying to find your other to love for all eternity on a time line is a little like trying to find a needle in a haystack before the egg timer goes off. Not easy, not to mention the fact you are approaching every guy as if they are some kind of medical specimen for your approval. Second date questions like, “Is there a history of depression, diabetes or cancer in your family” are quite off putting I'm sure.
So short of scouring online websites, which quite frankly is the most debilitating and depressing thing I've ever had to do, or speed dating, which is equally depressing and made me feel like a lost dog at the RSPCA. They slap a number on your lapel and you spend 2 minutes thinking “pick me pick me even if I don't like anything about you for god sake let me not be rejected by another complete stranger!”. So short of these minefields what is the solution?
This is where l take a moment to reflect on the amount of wasted sperm in my lifetime, I'll even go further (which may well explain why I'm still single) to say wow, the amount I've wiped off my thigh, stomach and derrière ....... at a grand a pop how very decadent and wasteful of me!
Perhaps I'll ask a friend, I like to think I'm lucky enough to have lots of friends so yes I'll make a list of ones I can ask, right first things first no one who has a partner (thats just cruel) righto that leaves me with all the ones I would never date, they're not partner-less for nothing at that age you know! So I'll go for the younger ones, they're not partnered up yet, gen x has an altogether better approach to women I've found, a much less judgmental view of the world, many of them, after all are the product of divorced and single parent families themselves. Right my list is pretty thin now here goes.............
Basically thats an enourmous ask, huge, too big, I mean for any of us it is. The question do you want children and are you ready to try for them is even massive for me, lets face it, despite wanting them for what feels like a lifetime its the biggest commitment and endevour you will ever make, much like that British ad campaign I am reminded at every turn that children aren't just for christmas you know. To go one further and say hey you mr twenty something - would you like kids, well it is a big ask and as it turns out too big an ask and I don't begrudge him for saying no, he was open minded, non-judgemental and sincere with me and it didn't turn our friendship, if anything the friendship was tested and passed with flying colours - I admire him hugely for being open enough to consider it. I also asked an old friend who lives overseas and he couldn't bare the idea of not being involved on a daily basis with the child - so to him too I say good on you and thank you for considering it.
Ok so we're still at square 1. Clock still thudding away new found carcnomas being held at bay, womb with a view getting ever shadier, eggs aging by the minute..... donor it is.
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